What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
