Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
