I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
