is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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