Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
