Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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