I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
