So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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