just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I cockslap morals
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
