dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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