I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
