I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
