my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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