So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I just put wine in my tea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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