Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
