why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
