It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
