I faked an abortion last night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
