Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
