didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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