I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize