And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
