You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
