fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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