Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Still dying that you shit outside
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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