i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
