Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
