Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
