genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
