I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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