I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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