I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize