i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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