I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
