you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
