I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
