Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
