Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There r osticjed everywhere
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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