Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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