There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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