I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
