Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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