so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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