someone owes me an orgasm
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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