We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
