Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
