He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
