Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
