You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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