bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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