Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
