thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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