Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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