Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize