his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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