You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize