wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
