Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
