I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
