All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
