Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
