Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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